![Screen shot 2009-10-23 at [ October 23 ] 1.23.00 PM](http://www.mobilecrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Screen-shot-2009-10-23-at-October-23-1.23.00-PM.png "Screen shot 2009-10-23 at [ October 23 ] 1.23.00 PM")
Much like everyone thinks they’re the best driver in the world, everyone thinks they’re great in the sack. Maybe you’ve got the Kama Sutra down like the back of your partner’s… hand; maybe you’ve used that internet connection to amass a few external drives full of “training material”. Whatever arts you’re trained in, the question has almost undoubtedly popped into your head during the heat of the moment: “Am I good at this the best lover in the world?”
Well, friends, to fall back on an almost-stale cliche that I promise we’ll use only a few dozen more times: there’s an app for that.
Now, we have absolutely no idea if this works as promised (though we’re working on getting someone on staff to give in and do a Hands/Feet/Various-Other-Body-Parts On with the app as soon as possible), but here’s the premise: by measuring the vibrations of your bed during the Wild Rumpus and comparing it to that of “thousands of surveyed couples”, Love Vibes gives you a 1-10 ranking.
However, this is science we’re talking about folks – it’s not as simple as just pressing the “Begin love making” button and doing the dirty. There are all sorts of variables that have to be set first to ensure absolute accuracy, such as “Mattress Firmness” and.. oh, thats it.
Admittedly, it all sounds like a bunch of non-sense to us. There’s no universal metric for charting out sexual savviness – especially not one that works by playing ear-to-the-ground with your mattress. If nothing else, we’re just impressed that the app’s developers, SparkTooth, managed to pitch this in such a way that Apple didn’t try to lop it off at the knees. Is Apple loosening up the reigns a bit, or did SparkTooth just ensure that the reviewers were ranked 10/10 everytime?
You can find Love Vibes for $1.99 in the App Store here. [iTunes Link]
SCIENCE!
This needs to hooked up to GPS-based social network so I can find all the other 10s in my ‘hood…
The free version will be out soon…supported by a site that plays “recorded sessions”
They wish they knew. I’ll try it out though. I better be good.
OK, here’s an app worth checking out. Launching. App store. Now.
What if you have a Tempur-Pedic bed? Have you noticed how the wine glass does not spill? I would bet your accelerometer would also not go wild.
Heres my take on this App and other lame iPhone Apps like iFart which apparently seems to have done a billion downloads – http://wp.me/pw0hs-8P
Solid App! Checking out the app store now.
I can’t wait to try this out, downloading now!
They should make a social networking version where you can look for other people attempting to ‘improve their score’ within a 5 mile radius..
:]
Then they can map that data to various regions to figure out which parts of the world are having the best sex.
Nice screenshot, Greg:
“Your session lasted: 00:20″
Invalid, invalid, invalid!
If they took my performance as a measure, the scale wouldn’t end at 10 but begin at 12.
You always knew you were a loser, right?
There was a day when couples actually didn’t want phones in the bedroom. This is just one more reason why they don’t belong there.
Evryone is best
And im the superior
Feature suggestion: add audio recording, and analyze screams and moans :-)
I wonder what it would rate if you pressed the start button and put it on top of a running washing machine.
HAY you got a 4.6 good job!!
An app for this, an app for that.
Well, what will they think of next!?
@LongestWiener